MY LIFE SENTENCE

The trigger goes off silently, and without warning,

I am hit with the force of a speeding freight train.

The pain is so incredibly intense.

It robs me of my very breath.

I start to black out.

I revive to a slight numbness.

The pain is reduced to a dull ache

and I am able to breathe again.

Slowly, I gain control.

I seem to have this built-in defense mechanism

that prevents pain overload.

It measures my tolerance.

It shuts down my mind and body for a time.

Does this suggest that I am too frail

to be exposed to the true magnitude of this loss?

Am I to suffer daily doses of grief

and intermittent jolts of debilitating pain

until it reaches a level that I can endure?

Where do I go to appeal this unduly harsh

and severe sentence unbefitting my crime?

This crime which I am guilty of:

loving him interminably

and refusing to accept the cruel reality of his death.

I beg for mercy.

Written by Amy Wick © in memory of the love of her life, Joseph Satchell, who was taken suddenly on August 28, 2001.

You took your life away from me and now I hope you see,

How important your life was if not to you, but just to me.

Always there with a simple joke or just a silly grin.

Lots of times with you didn't even get to begin.

You always made me laugh and put a smile on my face.

All my memories with you are put in a special place.

In my heart my memories will be forever there,

All the pain you had was hidden so far, somewhere.

I wish I could have helped you and made you understand,

All the pain you had will soon be hidden in the sand.

I hope to sit next to you someday, floating on a cloud.

Saying I was never mad at you, just like I had vowed.

Written by Mara Mattis

}i{ Mara }i{ ©

I'm Having the Time of My Life

I'm having the time of my life now, the battle is almost won

My faith is strong and my conscience is clear, and I've only begun.

To know the peace He has promised me, the joy of a job well done.

And I count my blessings along the way, And I thank Him for everyone.

I'm having the time of my like right now.

For I never thought I'd ever be given a second chance such as The Lord has given me,

To see with clearer eyes then I have ever seen before.

To know when I knock, HIS Hand will open the door.

How like a dream my old life seems, So far within the past I've traded

foolish fantasies for the things that I will know will last.

And I am strong within His strength, and precious in His sight,

Accepting all He sends, Because His ways are always right.

I'm having the time of my life right now.

Because I've learned to share everything with GOD, each minute I am here.

For He alone can read my heart. And He knows what is in my heart, and within me.

And He makes all things wonderful, because He is my friend!

This poem was written by Virginia Arlene Batts Murphy, shortly before her husband was murdered by a drunk driver in 1999. She passed away from the complications of diabetes on Jan 20th, 2001. Submitted by her daughter Mary ©

COMFORT
In Loving Memory
Ila Marie Goodey
Her words will live on

I hear his voice filled with sorrow, I wish I had authority
sufficient to remove.  I see the gentle mouth I kissed so recently now tremble with pain few people understand; not even I can comprehend the harm his broken heart endures.  I who both know and love the man aching from this injury, cannot part the clouds that hide his hope. I see the eyes, that not so long ago assuaged a loss which tore my soul,
filled with pain he tries to minimize in order not to cause me grief. I see his glowing spirit dim from strain, and how I yearn to comfort him.©
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/1620/index.html  

I WAIT  
by Carmen Seales in Loving Memory of her husband
Reggie Seales 3/15/71 - 8/13/98

I wait, hoping at times, begging to be reunited with you.
Each day my love grows deeper, unwavering in its demand to be recognized.
I long to be with you, to hold you in my arms, to hear you laugh,
to smell your scent, to touch your skin.

At times, the pain is so strong it overwhelms me.......

I wonder, how can I go on?
I waited for you to awaken,  I was certain that you would fight to live,
certain that you wouldn't leave me.
When you left, I began to wonder if I had imagined our bond,
our special connection. 
I began to question our love and allowed others to judge what we had.
I'm left now in a state of constant melancholy always pondering
if I'll make it through the day.

I examine your pictures, your handsome face staring back at me
with youthful innocence.  I look into your eyes, so full of life,
so unaware of your impending departure.
Those eyes haunt me, for such tenderness and love is embedded
in their beauty.

I'll continue to wait.......
but the moment I long for most, is the sweet glorious day
when you look at me and once again say....
"I love you Carmen........"©

I placed a lighted candle on the dining table tonight.
It didn't glow as brightly as when we used it before.

Sadly, I looked across at your chair,
so empty now.
Oh, how beautiful you were when
you were sitting there.

You had to go away too soon,
I know you didn't want to leave me,
but you,  my love, live on in my memory.

One day we will meet on some distant shore,
our love will be the same,
never again will we part.

Until then my love, I hold you in my heart.

Ralph L. Clark
© 3-30-99

Daddy
The man we grew to love is now singing with the Lord above;
Rejoicing, singing and dancing along;
Playing for God, the most beautiful song. 
Enjoying his life for eternity, pain, tears and sorrow no longer is he.
I remember him holding my mom so tight,
and never giving up anything without a fight.
Everyone loves you and I hope you know,
that everyone is sorry to see you go.
He would work until past time for bed, working so hard to keep us fed
He used to come in and hold me tight when I was crying or filled with fright....
Now we all changed somehow, some way, 
I know back in our minds we knew, it was going to happen some day.
At least we have our memories of the times we had together.
I know in our heart we will be truly together forever.
When this day is all over and we crawl into bed, we'll remember the good time, especially all the ornery things you always said.
Forever in a day is too long to wait.
Eternity is too long to meet you at the gate.
Always is much more than we can ever bare,
Right now daddy, I want our love to share.  All the times we had, both good and bad....... we all know that you have seen Jesus' face and held your mom in warm embrace.
Daddy, I have to go for now, but not forever.....remember in our hearts daddy, we will be together.
I love you Daddy, Love...Your Brat
In loving memory of Leroy (Sir Ornerniness) May 31, 1999

Memommy, 
I look up in space and wonder, Can you see me from way up there?

My eyes move from star to star as I ponder, do you know how much I really care?

Yes I miss you a great deal and every night I pray.  It's like a huge cut that will never heal.

From heaven, I hope you'll guide my way.  The nights are long, extended more and more.  But I know your watching me.

I miss you each day, more and more.  Though now  you're finally free.  We were partners, I miss you so.  I loved you with all my heart. 

We were two halves of a whole and now I feel I'm missing a part. I never thought to stop and wonder what I'd ever do without you.
Now that my soul is left to ponder, 
I realize from Heaven, you miss me too. 

To my beloved Grandmommy from her devoted granddaughter, Jessica

The sun has set,
Your are no more.
How blind I am,
For you are here,
Pervasive as my breathing.
You fill my cup,
Enabling me to see
the ripples as a stone is tossed
Impacting always,
Your subtle ways have taught,will teach,
For you to live to those who see!

Written in Memorial to my beloved
Margaret, taken from me suddenly
on May 3, 1998
Jack Waller © 1998

Your Gift

You do not understand the gift you give me, just by being you....
Your laughter reaches into my heart,
Gently coaxing awake that part of me I thought was forever lost.
Your acceptance tears down those lonely walls that have caged me for so long....
but you do not yet understand what you mean to me.

Your honesty proves to me over and over again, It is okay to be real;
Your caring goes deep into my soul,
and I am powerless over the love I feel for you.
But you do not yet understand
how you hold my heart in your hands.

Thank you beautiful "angel"
For letting me into your heart.
And, Thank you! Thank you!
For so persistantly...knocking on mine.

Anonymous for "AngelLimey"
Precious friend

To my loving Grandmother

Blue as the sky may be
I'll say I have never seen
An Angel as beautiful as thee.
I'd love to see you just one more time.

I miss you grandma, can you hear me?
As I walk in the house of restless slumber,
I stop, I listen, I cry.....
I wish you had never died.
I'm sorry that I ever lied....

I love you grandma,
I miss you....

By Whittney Ryder, age 13

Vera
Marie Mead-Anderson
3/26/24 - 2/12/98

My Teacher, My Counselor,
My Mother

My Friend

I don't remember when I first began to call you my "friend"..
I only know, one day the mother-daughter relationship that I'd seen grow, so imerceptibly,
turned gold and ran in tune with all I'd thought or dared to plan.
You were to me, like music... low, yet clear,
A fire that throws its warm bright glow on me, as on each woman, child and man,
and common thing that lies within its rays.
You were like a wholesome food that stayed the cry of hunger, groping minds, guiding
lost trust back into being;
Subtle protection, gentle encouragement.
You gave me strength...... strength to overcome the fear, the pain, and like a
star, a self-sufficient star, you made me raise my entire being to a higher sky,
in tune, like you, with earth.... yet wide and far.

Your daughter, DeeD

Prayers and Inspirations
http://members.aol.com/swtsolange/prayers.htm
http://members.aol.com/gemsleana/swtsolan.htm

A Widows Creed

Beyond Forever
In the memory of Robert Dale Myers
May 22, 1972 ~ March 18, 1997

Goodbye, So final.... 
The world should never have to know this word.
Youth...
So delicate and needing, so full of dreams and endless possibilities.
When these two words are combined and youth is lost, we all hurt.  Even the sky turns dark and cries of what could have been.
Mother Earth mourned him when she folded her flowers in closing and silently wrapped him in her loving embrace.
Too soon, she accepts back what has always been here. Never regretting the time that was give.....yet wishing there  could have been more.  
She stands quiet in this our devastation.
The world will remember as those left behind give their respect.  The animals cease to chatter, the birds briefly cease to call as silence is observed for him who was a noble and worthy hunter.  One lone eagle flies in graceful arches and cries out nature's final goodbye. 
Forever may this poet, or many, make certain he is never forgotten. 
Let our words be gently and kind as we forever immortalize him with our pen and paper.  For all time to be engraved even in a strangers heart. 
Speak gently, smile, and remember.  Time heals or at least lessons the hurt. 
Even if age dims our memories, there will always be reminders.  Thus may we always pass on our stories.
And to the poet and soft hearted....... care much.
It is not wrong.
Sit back and remember, feel, miss.....then, write much.
In this way we may all remember more clearly upon reading your heartfelt words........And when your work is completed, gently get up and go on.  
We won't forget....
This youth lives on, past time, our hearts and our memories.
Forever may the soul remember.
Emmy  antemy@go.com

My Hero, My Dad 

Dad, you are my hero.  How I wish I had told you everyday how much you mean to me.  More than words could ever say......but I know I am never alone. 
In my Heart, you'll always be; 
Cause I can see your star so brightly, 
Shining upon me.  To comfort and guide me, to protect me with your wings.  I LOVE YOU "DAD" ~ "I MISS YOU DAD" ...
Your daughter, Julene

THE FEEL LINGERS

The quietness of your presence,
The feel of sharing summers days,
Rivers we fished that were wild and free,
calm seas with gentle waves.
Our dreams of success,
Freedoms you fought for....
Together our happiness. 

 Written by Sharon Lee
In Memory of my husband, Frank "Cody" Jordan, 
who went to heaven December 29, 1998.... 
Thank you so much for our 19 wonderful years.

DAD'S PASSING

So many tears, so much pain....
they say with every loss, you gain.
The greatest man, the greatest Dad;
I never thought it could be so bad.
I feel lost in a world of unknown.
He will never know how much I've grown.
Why is he gone?  I love him so. 
How could life take me so low?
I am so angry, how could this be?
When God took Dad, He took a part of me.
Every thought that goes through my head
Has a little reminder that Dad is dead.
He had so much to live for, so much to gain...
I can see his face in every drop of rain.
Little reminders all around,
I hear him call me in every sound 
and even though he is no longer here,
I can see a part of him when I look in the mirror. 

Windi LR Wagner

In Memory of Suzanne DeArk
Written for her Husband Richard on the day of their wedding ~

"If I could"

If I could package the sunshine from a crisp summer day,
gather the stars from a fresh moonlit night,
collect the beauty from the stunning world around us and pull
the peace and serenity from the countryside...... I would.

If I could find the solution to your daily worries, take away the pain
others inflict on you, solve all your worries of what tomorrow might be.....
I would.

If I could return all the happiness I feel when I'm with you, give you the
"I can do anything" attitude you give me, introduce you to the calm
never-ending love I have found in you, and walk by your side and protect
you from harm...... I would.

But I can tell you just how very much love I feel for you, carry prayers
for you continually in my heart, lovingly accept what you were yesterday,
are today and will be tomorrow.

Be  with you if you need an arm to steady yourself with, share my soul
when you feel empty and alone, listen to your heart when you need conversation,
hold you with loving silence when words won't work and give myself
completely to you, the man I love........ and I will. ©
      by Suzanne DeArk

If ever you need me...... I'm here.
If ever the sun brings rainbows to your soul and you want to share....I'm here.
If ever success, great or small, is yours and you want to celebrate...I'm here.
If ever the demands and expectations of others overwhelm you,
and you need acceptance.....I'm here.
If ever sorrow overcomes you and you need hope..... I'm here.
If ever storms threaten you and you need peace.....I'm here,
offering loving understanding and a place of comfort.....
"If ever you need"©

by Suzanne DeArk

Remembered with love by her husband, Richard

Jacobs Letter

God sent you from above
for us to give you love,
and we knew from the start
we would give your our hearts.....

You always smiled
and you were a beautiful child,
you had gorgeous brown eyes and cute curly hair.

But God needed a special baby to hold,
so He chose you, to fly like a dove with Him 
to heaven above.....He took our precious baby Jacob.

We cried, we screamed, we prayed, we pleaded......

Why does it have to be him?  
We don't understand, we really loved him.
Please, give us another chance.
Another chance to feel your curly hair
A chance to show how much we care....
A chance to see your smile and hear your giggle....
A chance to see you dance and wiggle. 

But God needed a special baby to hold, 
So He chose Jacob to fly like a dove, 
with Him, to Heaven above, He chose our Jacob. 
Jacob was 22 months old.

This was written as a tribute of love
By his sister.

MUM

Death is something I cannot understand
Losing someone who once held your hand,
Gone forever, who knows why?
To a place beyond when they die.

In my mind, death is a great loss
A loved one walking a path you cannot cross.
Emotions build up and you feel sad,
Unfortunately sometimes you even feel mad.

She told me she'd always be there
but I knew the truth when she lost her hair.
I remember her smile, the pain in her eyes,
and that phony blonde wig she used for disguise.

All along we knew she would die,
Each one of us kept asking, "Why?"
The sky was so blue that day
and not one of us knew what to say.

I remember one night when she held me so tight,
there was fear in her eyes, and I knew,
It wouldn't be long until we said our goodbyes.

In the hospital where she lay
it grew worse day by day.
Even though she continued to smile,
My mother was in pain all the while.

Her white coffin, the roses deep red,
the hole in the ground, her final bed.
The flowers, the music, the tears
bringing to life my worst fears.

It's okay to break down and cry,
talk to her or at least try.
Look at photos, read an old letter if that's what
it takes to make you feel better.

It has been years now thought I still don't know how
to deal with her death or to believe she's gone.

In years to come the pain will grow mild
but I'll still remain a motherless child.
                                                            By Penny Green

In memory of my mother
Barbara Stocker-Green
9/26/48 to 10/16/93

A PRAYER FOR THE CHILDREN

Author unknown...

We pray for the children, who sneak popsicles before supper, who erase holes in math workbooks, who can never find their shoes...

And we pray for  those who stare at photographers from behind barbed wire, who can't bound down the street in a new pair of sneakers, who never "counted potatoes", who are born in places where we wouldn't be caught dead, who never go to the circus, who live in an X-rated world. 

We pray for the children who bring us sticky kisses and fistsful of dandelions, who hug us in a hurry and forget their lunch money.

And we pray for those who never get dessert,
who have no safe blanket to drag behind them,
who watch their parents die watch them die,
who can't find any bread to steal,
who don't have rooms to clean up,
whose pictures aren't on anybody's dresser,
whose monsters are real.

We pray for the children
Who spend all their allowance before Tuesday,
who throw tantrums in the grocery store and pick at their food,
who like ghost stories, who shove dirty clothes under the  bed,
who never rinse out the tub,
who gets visits from the tooth fairy,
who don't like to be kissed in front of the carpool,
Who squirm in church and scream on the phone,
Whose tears we sometimes laugh at and whose smiles can make us cry.

And we pray for those whose nightmares come in the daytime, who will eat anything,
who have never seen a dentist,
who aren't spoiled by anybody,
who go to bed hungry and cry themselves to sleep,
who live and move, but have no being.

We pray for the children,
who want to be carried and for those who must,
who we never give up on and for those
who don't get a second chance.
For those we smother and....
For those who will grab the hand of anybody kind enough to offer it.

IN MEMORY OF........
Natalie Brooks, Student ~ age 12
Paige Ann Herring, Student ~ age 12
Stephanie Johnson, Student ~ age 12
Brittany R. Varner, Student ~ age 11
Shannon Wright, Teacher ~ age 32

This is in memory of the children and teacher killed in the shooting on Tuesday, March 24, 1998, in Jonesboro, Arkansas. 

My Baby, My Daughter,

My Sheena Kristine

I miss the gleam in her eye, The sound of her cry, the love in her touch, I long for so much.
I miss the look and the sweet smell of her hair.  Oh, how I wish she was still in our care..... The way she ran through the house wanting to play,
those memories are locked safe in my heart to stay.
I long for that beautiful smile on her face, the way she would dress in pink and white lace.
I miss lulling her to sleep with a Tom Petty song, singing two dozen times, a song two verses long.
We mad sure that we said good morning each day.  I thank God for that and would have it no other way.
I miss sitting outside with her on the swing,with the radio playing and her doing her best to sing.
I cherish each second of the short time she was here. 
Now she's my Angel and I know that she's near....
I wish there were words to express what I mean, I love you my baby,
My daughter, My Sheena Kristine.©

Daddy (Jamie)
scotsman_59@hillsboro.net

LITTLE ONE

Your love for us was like that of no other,
Given so freely to myself and your mother.
The light in your eyes could outshine the sun, Our baby, our darling, our precious little one.

The love that we shared set our hearts awhirl, Just what we needed, our beautiful baby girl.
So complete, our lives, your love did make,
The loss that we feel is so hard to take.

But a rose God did need to add to his garden, so our hearts we must never allow to harden.
There must be work here for mommy and daddy to do, before we are forever reunited with you.

To be strong for your brothers, for us is a must, so we put our faith in God, our lived in His trust.
Our hearts are still saddened, at times full of grief, we miss you so far beyond all belief.

But soon God will wipe away each and every tear.   We will see you again and hold you so near.  You'll look at us with those eyes that outshine the sun.....
Our baby, Our Darling, Our Precious Little One......  daddy (Jamie)©

I AM HERE

If you could see me now, how happy for me you'd be, and jealous too I know, a bit, for I'm forever free. 

I know you miss me, I feel the hurt and see the tears and you wonder how you can ever go on through all the sadness and the fears.

What I am hope for, telling you in gentle whispers is, that I am here..... I am with you.

I know you now better than I ever did, I can feel the love from the deepest part of your heart.  I can see inside your mind and know the love is there......that hasn't died, we will never part...... and I am with you.

I know you miss holding me and seeing me, but I can see you so much clearer here, through angels eyes....and you are oh, so beautiful, even through your tears................I am here.

Go quietly into the day and you will feel me rest your mind and relax your spirit and you will feel me.
Be not afraid to be with me,
Be not afraid to feel me, for that is when you will....... I am here. ©

Mommy (sarah)

THE DANCING GIRL

A Childs whisper fills the air, I can hear her, softly singing, and if I close my eyes, I can see her gently dancing.  I remember back not long ago, when sounds of laughter filled with room when silly songs with tunes to hum brought dancing to the idle hours.

Now, of course, it's only in my heart that I can hear the sweetest voice and only in my mind that I can see the dancing of her soul.

They say she's in a better place....
I wonder if she dances still, and wonder if the songs she sings still melt the hearts of all who hear.
I will never forget my dancing Angel, the one who with the music off, could imagine any melody and bring sweet smiles with her voice.

Even though she was very small, the love she carried was, Oh, so large, and in her laughter and her smile, was the gif of loving life that she gave to all.

One day maybe, it will all make sense or why the music here had to stop, or will it???  I wonder, maybe it hasn't stopped at all, because....

A child's whisper fills the air, I can hear her,
softly singing and if I close my eyes,
I can see her gently dancing. ©

In Memory of my beloved Natalie,

Mommy

For Chad & Tim

A Tribute to Paramedics

Sometimes you must do such a thankless job, hiding your heartbreak, each tear, each sob.
You entered our lives, another family in need, you responded to us with all care, urgency and speed.

Our daughter was in such a fragile condition.   Saving her life became your most important mission.
Though she was taken from us, we'll never understand why, but the care that you gave her, allowed us time to say good-bye.

So many questions we have about one we did adore.... Did we do everything right that day?  Could we have done more?  Finding answers to these questions, our chances are slim, but you came when you were needed, "Thank you, Chad & Tim"....

Our thanks to you comes deep in the heart, we'll hold your care for her graciously until this world, do we part.  With such devotion, skill and care, you used everything in your powers to see that wtih her, we could have a few more hours.

Our little Sheena, you tried saving way back in June, it's so hard to express our thanks, no matter how soon.
You came to her aid and gave all that you had, we're eternally grateful to you, Tim & Chad.

Jamie & Mary Beth Dunbar
In Loving Memory of
Sheena Kristine Dunbar
July 30, 1995 ~ June 19, 1998

Poetry by Lori Doggett
Abuse Poetry

Poetry by Lisa R lisarich@eisa.net.au

"With Jesus Now"

He's with Jesus now,
Kneeling near God's throne.
Praising Jesus now
through His blood.....atoned.

No more sin or pain
can afflict his soul.
He has been set free....
God's love broke deaths hold.

He's with Jesus now
sitting at His feet.
Understanding now...
He is whole....complete. 

One with the Father
and one with His Son....
kept by God's Spirit
Life's race has been run. 

He's with Jesus now,
his faith now is sight,
he sees fully now....
by God's Holy Light.

Withstanding each test,
his heart was refined.
He entered His rest...
God's grace he did find. 

He's with Jesus now, 
all troubles have ceased....
In God's presence now.... 
he knows perfect peace. ©

In memory of Aaron 
DHavens@tyler.net