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A
TIME TO GRIEVE.....A TIME TO HEAL
HAVE
YOU EVER NOTICED THE MANY MIXED-UP EMOTIONS INVOLVED IN GRIEVING?
ON THE ONE HAND YOU FEEL RESTLESS. ON THE OTHER HAND. YOU FEEL LIKE
YOU DON’T WANT TO MOVE AT ALL. YOU FEEL DESPERATELY ALONE,
AND YET YOU DON’T WANT ANYONE AROUND. YOU FEEL SCATTERBRAINED,
FORGETFUL,
AND YET, FRANTICALLY METICULOUS. YOU FEEL LIKE CRYING AT NOTHING.
AND SOMETIMES LAUGHING AT ANYTHING. BEING IN A CROWD OF PEOPLE IS
FINE
AS LONG AS THEY DON’T TALK TO YOU. AND YET, IF THEY DON’T
TALK TO YOU
YOU FEEL AS IF NOBODY CARES. YOU WANT SO DESPERATELY FOR SOMEONE
TO MENTION YOUR CHILD, TO REMEMBER THE LIFE THAT WAS. AND YET IT
CAN MAKE YOU FURIOUS IF ALL THEY WANT TO TALK ABOUT IS THE DEAD
ONE,
AND NEVER MENTION THE LIVING ONES. GRIEF SETTLES OVER YOU LIKE A
HOT BLANKET.
YOU’RE AS COLD AS THE WINTER SNOW. GRIEF PRESSES ON YOU LIKE
A STEAM ROLLER.
YOU’RE FLOATING IN A BUBBLE ABOVE YOURSELF. GRIEF BOXES YOU
IN ON FOUR SIDES AND INTRODUCES YOU TO A PAIN NO ONE SHOULD HAVE
TO KNOW. BUT THEN, ONCE AGAIN, YOU BEGIN TO FEEL COMPASSION. YOU
RELATE TO OTHER PARENTS WHO HAVE HAD AN EXPERIENCE SIMILAR TO YOUR
OWN. AND EVENTUALLY, WITH A LIGHT AS SHARP AS A SUNBURST, YOU HEAR
YOURSELF SAYING YOUR CHILD’S NAME WITH AN UNFAMILIAR SMILE
ON YOUR FACE. YOU REMEMBER SOME OF THE FUNNY TIMES,
AND FEEL LAUGHTER BUILDING IN YOUR THROAT. ONE MORNING YOU NOTICE
THE SUN IS SHINING, THE FLOWERS ARE BURSTING WITH THE COLORS OF
SPRING.
THREE SEASONS HAVE PASSED UNNOTICED..... AND, SOMEHOW, YOU ARE STILL
HERE.
EVEN THOUGH YOUR CHILD IS STILL THERE. YOU FEEL YOUR HEART SWELL
WITH A LOVE
YOU NEVER EVEN KNEW COULD EXIST. AND YOU FIND A PLACE IN YOUR LIFE
FOR SOMETHING CALLED, PEACE.........? AND THEN, EVER SO GENTLY,
THE MEMORIES
ENFOLD YOU IN A WARMTH AS SOOTHING AS A COOL SHOWER ON A HOT SUMMER
DAY,
SO YOU FIND YOU WANT TO REMEMBER. AND TENDER MEMORIES OF LOVE LIFT
YOU
TO UNREACHABLE HEIGHTS, TO THE BRIGHTEST OF STARS,
TO THE LOVELIEST TOUCH OF YOUR CHILD.
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